The alarm went off at 5:30am today. I really, really wanted to hide under the warm covers and go back to bed. After all, today is a special day. May 25th is the day, 15 years ago, that my best friend became my eternal best friend. And yet, I got up with Todd and began the day much earlier than usual. Why? Because a few years ago we started a tradition with our family. While we usually take the evening to go on a celebratory dinner date as a couple, we wanted to be sure to involve the kids in the celebration of our wedding anniversary—after all, it is the birthday of our family! So, we began to go out to breakfast as a family to Cracker Barrel on May 25th every year (Mmmmmmm! All great traditions involve great food, don’t they!?!?). Our tradition became a little more complicated this year because we moved and the nearest Cracker Barrel is now 40 minutes away. Add to that a junior high student that starts school way too early in the morning, and maintaining the tradition suddenly became a matter of sacrifice.
I’ve been wrestling all week with whether or not it’s worth it, seeing as how I really don’t do early mornings well. At 6:15am this morning as I was putting piggy tails in my daughter’s hair I asked her if it was worth it to get up so early for breakfast, and her enthusiastic reply cemented in my heart and mind how important this yearly morning tradition is to her. “We have to! It’s tradition! Even when I am older I am going to keep doing it!” No one complained this morning about getting up. We had a great time. Our hostess even took a picture of us together in the rocking chairs out in front of the restaurant so the memory will live on in print as well as in our hearts.
I’ve thought a lot about family traditions today. I think it’s an odd coincidence that today the link to my thesis research also got highlighted on the BYU homepage—research that talks about the importance of traditions. In analyzing interviews with 80 adolescents we found seven important things that anchor youth to their religious faith. Of the seven anchors we found in the research, having traditions—particularly family traditions—was the anchor most frequently mentioned by the youth.
No, going out for breakfast to celebrate our family’s birthday isn’t a religious tradition necessarily—though as we drove by the Oquirrh Mountain Temple this morning we did talk about the blessings of the temple and the sealing power that enables our family to be together forever. This anniversary tradition is just something we do for fun. Even so, as I think about the research and how those youth talked about their religious traditions it has made me realize that even non-religious family traditions have the effect of connecting us and strengthening the bonds that unite us. Relationships are so important to youth (whether they show it or not), and meaningful traditions foster relationships.
Many of the youth interviewed spoke of how they used to have more traditions when they were younger but as they became teens and life got busier those traditions dwindled and they really missed them. That’s the time in family life when maintaining traditions takes more planning and sacrifice. I felt that first hand this week. And yet, I think the connecting power becomes even more significant when maintaining the traditions requires sacrifice. There is power in consistency. Consistency over the years will always require sacrifice of some sort. Life changes, moves happen, kids grow, conflicts come up, and illnesses aren’t usually planned. And yet, my daughter taught me this morning that as I do my best to maintain the traditions that tie us to one another and the special events in our life, I am giving her a gift of knowing that family is important. Family is worth sacrificing for. And that is something she will carry with her when she is older and has a family of her own.
What family traditions are important to your family? What events are important that you want to become the center of a family tradition? How can you begin that?
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