The sun rose again this morning, ushering in another beautiful autumn day. I missed it. I was still snuggled in bed. Isn’t it amazing that something so magnificent could go unobserved? The day comes every day. It happens with such regularity that I don’t even think about it most days, much less observe the passing of night to day. I tend to be a delighted observer of the sunset far more frequently than I do the sunrise. Enjoying that evening spectacle does not require me to abandon my snuggly covers, to which I am very attached. I am pretty sure the sun will set again tonight, just like it did last night, and usher in another season of night. That pattern of day and night and day and night is probably the most dependable thing in our lives.
Why then am I caught so off guard when health challenges surface again, when relationships struggle, or when my delight with the peace in our home is catapulted over the fence by an irritable (and irritating) child? Those things will come again and again into my life, as sure as the sunrise and sunset. We all know seasons of daylight when everything feels right and when we glimpse the Lord’s promise of peace in this world. Answers come, grace sustains, life prospers. I like it when the darkness gives way to those moments. And yet, just as surely as God made the day and the night, those moments will pass and I will struggle once again with feeling alone and scared and broken and plagued with unfillable needs.
I realized this week that God wants to be my God in the day and the night. He wants to be the one I praise and give glory to in the bright sunshine of day. I get that, and most of the time I am pretty good about doing that. But, He also wants to be my God in the dark night. He wants me to love Him and trust Him and turn to Him instead of wallowing in my fears and insecurities and turning to other things for comfort. He wants to show me that all-encompassing peace He promised in the darkness of night. I’m still working on that one. For some reason I think my old traditions of facing disappointment and adversity are like the snuggly covers that keep me safe and warm. It’s not true. They don’t work and, more importantly, they keep me from the Light. They keep me from knowing Him and praising Him as my God.
The scriptures are full of stories of God giving His people the chance to choose Him as their God in the day and in the night. Nephi is a great example to me of someone who understood this principle. He chose God in the day and was faithful to “go and do” whatever he was asked. He also chose God in the darkness of those moments when going and doing didn’t work our as expected. He held on faithful until the dark night of Laban’s resistance to surrender the plates gave way to the grace of an all-powerful God. In those dark moments of unmet physical needs and broken bows where even his father the prophet struggled, Nephi held out faithful and actively served His God in the darkness until it gave way to the Light of food for the family once again. Nephi knew that God could be trusted in the daylight and the dark night. Yes, the Psalm of Nephi in 2 Nephi 4 shows us that Nephi was human and slackened his strength at times. That makes me admire him even more and have more hope though. It was a struggle at times, but it is possible for all of us.
How do you feel when your faith is challenged by opposition? How do you show yourself and your God that you will hold out faithful in the life cycles of day and night?
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