I came across this talk yesterday in my personal study and thought it was very powerful. I know I often struggle with the balance between attending to my needs and the needs of those I love. Her perspective here about the third option–the choice to consecrate ourselves to the Lord–was a powerful insight for me about how to see that struggle differently and surrender it to the Lord so it is not a struggle. I am realizing that as I trust Him implicitly that everything has a way of working out!
Sheryl Condie Kempton, “Magnifying the Lord: Mary’s Example for Us,” Ensign, Dec 1980, 44
“One of the pervasive decisions we face is the choice between self-denial and self-fulfillment: do we seek first to serve others, or do we try to satisfy our own needs?
For some years, popular trends have focused on the rights of individuals to “do their own thing,” seeking their own happiness. Many people see achieving personal goals as the ultimate meaning of life. Some psychologists support this emphasis by pointing out the negative effects of the “martyr complex” and by asserting that a person becomes a nonperson if he never does what he wants to do.
In sharp contrast are the ascetic practices of self-denial focusing on sacrifice for other people or causes. For those who pursue this course, the individual becomes less important than the group or the goal: there is something higher than self to live for.
Most people do not live either of these extremes. They try to pursue a course which neither totally denies themselves nor shuns service to others. At some times it seems appropriate to them to try to fill their own needs, and at other times it is important to sacrifice for something else.
Reading about Mary and the choices she made suggests an entirely different approach to the problem of choosing between self-denial and self-fulfilment. Suddenly, both choices seemed to carry with them too much emphasis on self. Mary focused on God, not on herself, putting her faith in him rather than in her own abilities. Rather than seeking to fulfill herself, she consecrated herself to fulfill the will of God. But in making that choice, she did not deny herself: God fulfilled her needs better than she could ever have fulfilled them herself.”
“Our words and external expressions are not neutral, for they reflect both who we are and shape who we are becoming.” Robert S. Wood
What do I want to do when I grow up? I have fielded that question a lot lately as I begin my last semester of graduate school. Surely I must have it figured out by now since I’m graduating in four months. The truth is, I don’t know really. I know I want to come back to having my whole heart at home for awhile. I actually miss sweeping the floor when it’s dirty and having the time to look through a cookbook for a new recipe to try for dinner. Even so, all the questions regarding my future aspirations that I fielded while I was in Arizona for Christmas led me to my knees with the question, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” That night I awoke from a dream in the middle of the night that I new was my answer. As I lay there thinking of it, the following scripture ran through my mind:
2 Nephi 25:26 “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, and we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”
That’s my new answer for what I want to do after I graduate–I want to talk and rejoice and write about Christ and the role He plays in our individual lives and in our marriages and families. I want to talk and teach and write about how to help parents teach the truths of the Savior and His atonement to children. I want to talk and teach and write about the power of the atonement in our marriages.
The past two years have been an amazing journey as I have come to know my Savior differently than before. It is a journey that will never end, as I have so much more to learn and change, but I rejoice in the changes He is making in me and in my marriage and family. I want to share what I have been taught with anyone who wants to hear and who wants hope in their efforts to change the patterns and traditions in his or her life, marriage, and family.
Jesus Christ lives! He is the Light of the World, and the Light of my life. His grace and atoning power are real and are accessible every minute of every hour of every day. From Him come an abundance of love, peace, and joy–even in turbulent times.
What do I want to do when I grow up? I want to talk of Christ and point all who will listen to the Light!
“How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.”
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
When I was a young girl—about seven or eight—I was helping my Dad pack for a camping trip. He gave me his razor blade to go put in with the supplies, and, being the curious child I was, I decided to open the blade to check it out. Somehow in my childhood agility I managed to cut myself very deeply in the palm of my hand. I knew I had done something wrong by playing with it, and I knew I would get in trouble for it. Feeling guilty and ashamed, I ran to get something to stop the bleeding myself. I don’t remember much of the blood from that cut though, what I remember was the globules of fat and tissue that I saw inside my hand when the bleeding started to subside. I felt nauseated by it. I had never seen the inside of my body and I guess I had never taken the time to imagine what it would be like. As I stood there seeing what was really inside me I felt sick. I was so afraid of what I saw, and yet I was equally afraid that if I turned to a parent for comfort and help I would be in trouble for the choice that got me there in the first place. I felt so alone and afraid and disgusted with what was inside of me.
That memory came back to me today in my tears of feeling that same way again—alone and afraid and disgusted with what is inside of me. As I have asked the Lord to purify me from the traditions that are claiming the Light and Truth of who I am, He has opened my eyes to see so many untrue and destructive thoughts and feelings that are entirely intertwined with the core of who I divinely am. I have never seen my insides like that, and just as with my hand, it’s nauseating.
I looked for the scar in my hand this morning and couldn’t find it among the creases of my palm, but as I looked I realized that the only hope for healing and comfort is from He who still carries the scars in His hands from the gift of love He gave to me. He understands all of what is inside of me, and He loves me still. He knows what is real and what is false, and only He can direct the journey to become purified and return to the Light. It doesn’t change what is inside of me for now, but it does change things to know I am not alone and I am not in trouble for bringing my broken humanness to the feet of my Savior!
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:28)
In an effort to curb some of the sibling drama in our house, I have taken to singing the primary song “Kindness Begins with Me” when the children are quarreling. It hasn’t had any effect on them yet, but it does distract me a bit so I don’t snap at them! Tonight while I was playing school with the girls, the boys were quarreling about chap stick–yes, two boys debating who got to use the mint flavored lip balm, it makes sense, right?!? I sang the little song and they rolled their eyes. As I continued working on my addition, Brinnley started singing her own version of the song. Instead of ending “kindness begins with me,” her song ended “kindness begins with God!” I have been thinking about that, and she is certainly right–great truths come out of the mouths of babes. Kindness does begin with God. When I am kind to others it is just His love flowing through me to another. When I am not kind it is just a witness that I am disconnected from Him. It puts into perspective the struggles between the kids. Instead of working on them being kind to each other, maybe we need to focus on ways we can feel the love of the Lord more in our home and our lives, and the quarreling will resolve itself. It’s worth a try!
A great one from Stake Conference today.
“I doubt there will be very many people in the celestial kingdom who aren’t kind.”
-Elder Marlin K. Jensen
I love Spring! It showcases a beautiful world coming to life again. I planted some new varieties of flowers in our front yard this year. When I checked on everything after our trip to Arizona I noticed something peculiar. Two flower plants are growing right next to each other. One is growing well and blooming brightly; the other is still struggling to take root in the soil. I paused to reflect on what makes the difference. I prepared the soil just the same and both get the same amount of water and sunlight, yet one struggles and one thrives. I reflected on my children and how they are like those flowers. Sometimes they thrive and other times we face daily, weekly, and sometimes never-ending struggles with them. They are great kids, and yet each one has a unique set of challenges–mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. They are each different and, like the flowers, one “right” way may not be what each of them needs to thrive. That makes parenting the greatest challenge and adventure ever! I can’t make the struggling flower thrive any more than I can make a child get over whatever he or she struggles with. I can seek to understand why and nurture though. Nurturing–it is a glorious mix of gentle words, loving touch, unhurried time, and individualized prayer. Isn’t it funny that as I looked at the plant I realized I needed to pray more specifically for my children? I felt the sudden impression that my Father in Heaven is just waiting to lead me, guide me, walk beside me, and help me nurture my little ones in their unique needs. There’s a reason most gardening is done on our knees!
May
12
Women’s Conference–Sacred, Selfless Service
Filed Under Personal Light, Scriptures, Written by Emily
A conference about coming unto Christ could not be complete without messages about service. Service is the lifeblood of His example to us and the ministry to which we all are called. This class was a wonderful reminder of those principles. I am grateful for the quiet voice of the Spirit that spoke to me during this class about a specific thing I can do to serve my family more selflessly and a specific thing we can do as a family to serve in our community. I know that if you seek to know through the Spirit what He would have you do to serve more like the Savior, He will enlighten you too! Read more
Thanks to my sister Crystal for passing on this link. Great gospel-centered parenting ideas about teaching being more important than correcting. Check it out!
http://www.arbinger.com/downloads/parenting_pyramid.pdf
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